Walking through fields of daisies in the bright sunshine. Picking off the petals one at a time. Running blindly through the tall grass under a solemn moon.
Singing to my own little tune.A song without words that speaks to those who will hear, a song that threatens those who are near.I sing in a different key
and I like it that way, no rules do I obey. I see you in the distance singing your ancient tune. Swaying gently underneath a shining moon. But I wont sing the song you do, if you thought you could change me, you are wrong.I will be who I want to be and I will not be silenced or drowned out by your song.

what is up w/ that new garbage system at york?oops my bad, oh my i just put a paper product in the can box!!! ahhhh the recycle cops are out to get me! someone please call david miller, i think i gotta settle this on my own. what am i saying?? AS IF he has anything to do with this. he didnt stick those smack dab in the middle of everything at york everywhere.. the student body masters did and im sure thats where all the money we pay for tuition went. oh but wait-- one girl is having trouble trying to decide where her piece of gum fits! haha this is super funny because wait a second hold on now.. gum goes in the trash.. and there aint no trash can here.. just recycle receptacles.. ahh but this poor piece of synthetic rubber substance does not fit in today's new society. after being chewed on for countless hours..it has no place to call home in its after life and rest for eternity. home.. home.. hooooome.. i wanna be at home on this really dark day. im looking out from the window here at vari hall.. into the centre of everything.. york's own little universe, own little village. its well lit in here but out there its dark and i wanna be in my bed feeling all snuggly. im looking out like a little fishy named freddy does when he is stuck in his fishbowl watching people tap with their fingers making his whole life rumble. ever notice how people stick their noses up against fishtanks to get a closer look? a closer look at what? just like people stick their noses into other peoples business. bah humbug christmas is coming soon. no bah humbug! i mean woohooh!! why is it so bright in here... who will turn their big idea into big money? why does york keep these lights on 24/7/365? they could be saving alot you know.. it doesnt even need to be this so bright here.. people just walk by, its not like they are so prone to tripping here cuz theres windows that bring in light as well. ok so now its my turn. it is now time to throw my unfinished little baggie of lucky charms(without the milk) into one of these bins.. which one? they cant go into the alluminunumun(blah cant say it cant spell it)... where 7UP cans go, or the glass one.. or that other one over there. oh ok ill take your word 4 it.. its gotta go in the paper one! they somehow taste like paper.. and so there is the new home for these marshmellowy delicious thing-a-majiggers. she shoots.. she scooooooooooores.

ok so like here i am sitting in the lab at the tel buiding.. im in section 5 at the farthest left computer station sitting beside teddy who is vigirously typing away at the keyboard, trying to catch up with the professor who at some points sounds like she is speaking another language... the SQL language that is! were doing it php style and using primary key... foreign key... references.. ok.. and now what? draw table statement? no thanx.. ill stick with a simple sketch of a flower. those always come to mind first before drawing anything else. flowers smell nice but no not in here.. in here it smells like teen spirit.. actually it smells like rotten computers.. if there is such a smell. sticky fingers touching keyboards, touching noses, touching... umm i'd rather not say. the screens are nice and flat but they would be even nicer if they were made by apple. i am soo craving one of those granny smith apples right now. all ripe and juicy and fresh from the tree. yep, fresh from chudleigh's apple farm! oh how i love that farm, their candy apples and apple pies.. and cotton candy oh my! actually their cherry pies are great. too bad this place isnt closer cuz i'd be an apple addict. i dont even eat apples at home.. they are there but i end up eating other things cuz fruit is my last choice. i have an apple tree growing in the yard but those apples aren't the same. we dont spray our tree with pesticides and other crap that does the body harm.. perhaps chudleigh's sprays something that makes the apples taste better.. they do grow larger and you could squeeze more juice outta them. but not like u'd actually wanna do that like you would a lemon.. so back to these computers eh.. i hate pc's. but wait.. the word hate is too mean.. i dislike pc's. im a mac user and proud of it. i used to not like apple before.. but coming to york and taking design and multimedia courses, i learned to like it and now i cant live w/out my ibook. the program is called FACS.. fax the facts about facs. fine arts cultural studies.. everyone asks me what its all about.. im so tired of explaining so i just tell them to look it up. just like im telling you to go to http://www.yorku.ca/finearts/facs/index.htm yes i know that by heart and i want you to try saying that to someone in a heavy duty conversation. peoples faces are so confused just like a heavy duty mosquito being squished by one of those mosquito squishing devises. like when you hit it against a window and its guts go splat. and your like huhhhh wow i just killed a bug. ewwwwww yuck. could u tell im really bored? and the thing is.. i have lots to do but i find myself procrastinating. but im cool with it because i know that its not just me and it happens to everyone once in a while. just like when you are supposed to be acting like a grownup in certain situations and you end up acting like a little kid.. a rugrat so to speak. that happened to me this weekend at woody woodchuck's. another great place.. if you are kid.. or a big kid at heart. its fun to get down at their level and could be the secret to holding on to a long life. how old are you? oh hi im 22 years young.. haha i could see me saying im 44 years young. im 22 with 22 years of experience.. i hate when ppl say that.. experience in what? you saying that i have no experience? bull! minutes have passed.. so have seconds.. and milliseconds.. infinity seconds too.. that should be a word.. just like 'funner' should.

Alone I stand weakly, as I see your shadow painfully dancing between me. A shadow I cannot talk to, share myself with, know. What it is you truly are, I yearn to reach out and embrace you as you dance so gracefully. I dream of a fairytale land that is vibrant when we dance together and your empty shadow dances upon me. Alone, I am dreaming but never knowing, only discovering blankness.

Searching arrays..."k is not equal to a".."statement"..."loop" this loop that.. what?? is this even english?? the pen is settled on the spot in which the proff is talking about. the view from back here is not so good, can't see more than blurryness and its dark enough. the class--they are not my peers and they are not paying attention. what is this class anyway? what name has this course been given? something to do with information techonology.. that i know for sure because my boyfriend is majoring this...ITEC... why not IT? ohh cuz IT is italian.. ok i c. sitting here, in his class.. i feel like im drowning, drowning in my thoughts, searching to find myself, and how i fit in here. access. that's what emad has sitting next to me. he's on the internet, on his laptop--dropping a course and adding another one at the same time. hey! he's tickling me now.. getting me away from my writing thoughts. "i need the logo for our site", he says. i promise to give it to him ASAP. oh man. the guy in front of me is crunched up, squised out on the desk, going all gerbel eyed--he's falling asleep. damn if can't understand what the hell is going on.. and the information going in one ear and out the other.. then this guy who should know what's going on... is tuning out mr. monotone with a capital M out and tuning into his daydream. i wonder if he will actually fall into a dreamstate. the class is long enough, only 2 hours to go. sqeeeeak goes the chair near me. so annoying when youre trying to write. this kid keeps shifting his body from left to right, making creaky sounds along the way.. trying to simulate a 3D movie ride.. but theres no spongebob here! annoyed are the rest of the ppl in my row now. four eyes.. i wonder why this fella is squinting hard to see when he's got thick lensed glass on. the writing on the screen is just fine now, only hard to understand for a visitor like myself. i'm only here for one reason and no--its not because this stuff is attracted to my brain, last thing i wanna do is suck it all in. i'm here to keep emad company and boy does he need it! Proffessor Monotone reminds me of Burt from sesame street.. oh excuse me its sesame park now.. sorry :| so he reminds me of burt with a "hi ho kermity frog here!" kind of an accent-- an interesting observation might i add. 5 people have left early. i bet they need a smoke mixed with some coffee. i like my coffee iced, not so crisp though. i just experienced a tickle underneath my armpit--Oi! and now he's planted his gentle head on my arm. flaming monkey! flaming what?? a new addition to our company's website. "its should be a cat, not a monkey" i say.. "hense KATzpaw dzines".. my boi is working on the site now, while the guy 2 rows ahead is playing solitaire on his Dell notebook.. same one as emad's. one. two. three. four pc's and only 1 mac. my ibook stands out from all the rest-- just like me in this room. i'm the only girl. ok well if u count the one girl sleeping and the other one that just left... and the one checking out her new shoes.. and then there were 3. what it all boils down to is for me to know and for you to find out-- not. no really.. someon'es cell rings a nasty tune, teacher doesn't notice, class is bored.. 10 minutes more of this and i'll be over my head. linear search, binary search.. what is the difference? will this newly learned information wave be ridden on in the future? technology is not stable. never was. never will be. anything could happen. it all can change. uh oh, battery low.. gotta go!

make it hurt because i'm frail.
make it burn for i am toast.
scrape my elbows scratch my soul.
soak it in sink right under float above i am yonder.

Getting up this morning was a bummer as I am still jet lagged from that long and tiresome plane ride I experienced while coming back from Greece a few days ago. My dog woke me up without even realizing how early in the morning it was. Since I am the only one that can care to his needs, feeling sorry I get out of bed and walk blindly to his cage and let him out for a quick washroom break and then a feeding. He doesn't know better to just sleep in until I am ready to wake him up. I feel like I am his maid sometimes and he is the master. Kiko is his name and bossing me around is his game. It is only 8:29AM at the moment and I am very excited to be a part of this online class. I hope I am not the first one who is online right now. Before this, I was out walking King Kiko the First and we did a one hour walkathon. Like always, this early in the morning, he beat me back to the house as I was exhausted of chasing behind him. He is actually the one walking me! Ok, enough about dogs...time to chit chat about other things. I wish I could think about other things... Oh yah.. ok I know. I am a graphic designer and this is something that keeps my ideas constantly flowing. I get these ideas from the media as well as family and friends and just about anything else in this world that surrounds me and keeps my mind thinking. This course will for sure help me out with my sketches and my job. I have my own company and many clients of mine like what I do because I sit down w/ them and discuss ideas before putting it all on paper. Kind of like this class because you have the free will to just write. At work, I have the free will to just draw and draw and draw until I'm ready to color things in and finish whatever I have to. The computer always comes in handy and it is basically like my best friend-- always there and always ready for me to approach it. Wow it seems like I only have a couple minutes left to write whatever pops into my head! Damn the time because it goes by so fast. Whatever. Summer is officially over because school has started and hopefully this will be a good year for everyone. The past year was very hectic and it was kind of hard to keep up at times. Thanks to my wonderful boyfriend I was able to keep my head up and strive harder when I needed to. Life is good... very good. Yikes for some reason I find myself thinking more than I'm writing but even so my fingers have not left the keyboard for one second and have not stopped typing. This is pretty cool I guess, for the first time. It seems like its going to be a nice day out there. The temperature of my hot vacation in Greece was higher, heck so was my lazyness! I think I just spent my summer doing mostly nothing... taking things in as I visited ancient ruins and swimming everyday was the life of a summer bum.