OK could this short ass bouncer please let us in soon because the early October cold is starting to seep into my bones! Alright this is better, my friends and I are now officially in club279 at hard rock cafe sitting at a far left corner table beside the most beautiful guitars I've ever seen. I've been here many times mostly for the music but also to set my eyes on these beauties again and again. A sunburned Gibson ES-335 beside an early 70's cortez custom electric that looks like steel.. wow what a great couple they make. I want a photo of me beside these guitars! My boyfriend agrees and so we capture the aura of the scene in a picture perfect moment.

Suddenly my mind has drifted away from the guitars to a girl standing alone in the corner of the club, she's taking a long drag on a clove cigarette, licking its sweet ghost off her lips before she takes another hit. Her kohl smeared eyes peer at the others crowding the small nightclub; Children of Night, as they are. Most people are dressed in black tonight, but any similarities end here. I wonder if its because black makes you look thinner or because you don't stand out in the crowd as much. Multicolored hair sticks up in all directions; not just Mohawks and spikes but theres some bead head styles as well. Some wear black band t-shirts, promoting bands like Nirvana or Billy Idol. I see jeans with holes in them, long flowing skirts that seem to be in style these days, you know those gypsy skirts?, bondage pants, those weird looking Alaska boots and I call them that because they look like Igloo land apparel, fishnet stockings in all sorts of colors--pink, black, blue, yellow..or are those dirty? Black eye makeup and lipstick stands out in bold relief on milky pale skin. This girl I'm looking at pops out from the crowd, I don't know why, I mean I've seen a million other goths like the one im eyeing, but this one here is different because she is alone. I'm going to call her X because she needs a name.

My friends think I’m an oddball because I’m writing and not paying attention to what they are saying. “Monny, that’s not what I said, are you even listening? I said these shoes do not match my purse, not I am such a curse!” Oops, well its not my problem there are more interesting things in here then her shoes! My boyfriend calmly assures my friends that this is normal of me and I’m “doing an expedition, its for school”. I just love it when he backs me up. This just in--X pushes her way through the sweaty bodies squirming to the music and makes her way to the bar. I'm moving in closer because I can't hear what's going on. The group I'm with wants to move closer to the band anyway. Now we're right up at the bar and with my trusty ears I could even hear a pin drop. OK well not really, it is so loud in here my ears would feel better on a plane. NOT. I love this music, the punk scene is back and every chord triggers a chill down my spine. I am so not feeling strung out tonight. "I'll have a screwdriver", X says to the bartender. "How old are you, sweetheart?" he asks, clicking his tongue stud against his teeth while he waits for an answer. I find this very unnatractive by the way, I hate the sound it makes, luckily I can't hear it through the music. X looks about 17 or younger, but she lied. "I'll be 21 next month." She smiled at him, knowing he knew she was lying; knowing also that he would give her the drink, he always did.. to everyone and anyone. You could tell X likes him-- he never asked her why such a pretty face is drinking alone, or asked to see some identification. She sits at the bar slowly drinking, absorbing the music and voices around her. She doesn't even mind being alone. Here she is blended in. There are no stares or snickers or people saying "freak" under their breath when she passes by. Such is probably the curse of walking around in the school when you are so different. She closes her eyes, allowing the dark music to vibrate through her.

Someone just sat on the stool beside her and beside me-- he's the monkey in the middle of us. He puts a hand on her knee, her eyes fly open. "Scar!" (I think thats what she said).. X gasped, and smiled. It doesn't look like he likes big crowds like this, he keeps looking around. He must have come tonight because maybe its her birthday. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. (Now im making this up because obviously I can't hear him). "You didn't think I'd let my angel go all day without seeing me, did you?" She reached up and put her arms around his neck, hugging him close, inhaling his weedy scent. He turns to the barkeeper and orders a Mary, then turns back to her. "Happy Birthday" he said as he trailed a finger down her cheek, handing her a newspaper wrapped object. He took the clove cigarette out of her hand and hit it, then held it to her lips for the last hit. I guess there is no by law for smoking in here. "Thanks", X said shyly, sweet smoke swirling out her nose and mouth, tasting of altars. I bet he knows how much it means to her that he had come. This is very sweet and I'm so glad I picked on her to write on. He turns to watch the band play, oblivious to the yearnful look she just gave him. I'm not sure who this band is but they are pretty good, not that I'm really paying attention though.

These two seem like best friends and that is all they will ever be. By the end of the night, he's going to be in the back alley, drunkenly making out with someone he'd just met--male or female. She only wishes it were her. The time has passed and finally she kisses him. His tongue I presume tastes like cloves and the tequilla they just finished. I could only imagine that because I'm drinking some myself. A burst of courage on X's side has just exploded like a supernova within her. In a shameless moment, she leaned over and pressed her lips to his-- and he kissed her back. I shouldn't really be watching all this action should I? I kind of feel guilty but what can I do? I can't stop here! He kissed her back the first time but no, not now. He pushed her away mumbling something like, "Erin, I can't. Don't complicate things." So she didnt. Alright so I have learned two things here, one-- her name is Erin. Two, this a complex situation for the both of them. She didn't tell him that she is in love with him, or that she always has been. I could see it in Erin's eyes, they want him. She just curled back up on the stool, finished her drink like nothing ever happened. But she still holds on to that kiss like a closely guarded secret. At night, she will re-live that moment in her dreams. A vivid memory it will be, and it will come rushing back every time she tastes tequilla.


He pulled her onto the dance floor, where they spent several hours moving together to the spiritual music. This is probably good enough for now, at least Erin, a.k.a X will always have him as a friend. That, and their tequila kiss.